My kind of review

Ridley Scott forgot everything about great movies except for the craft, 31 May 2012 Author: michael-albertsen from Denmark *** This review may contain spoilers *** I'm really sorry, but this a major disappointment. No, I didn't expect miracles or something close to the original Alien. I've been following Scott for 30 years - and it's clear that he has been on the decline since Gladiator and Black Hawk Down. I liked a few of his later movies like A Good Year - but most have been rather flat and uninspired. One thing I've noticed, is that he's gotten increasingly complacent with his own "point of view" in terms of historical facts and how things work in reality. It's like he has a complete disregard for plausible motivations or factual information about how things work. Case in point - there's a scene in the movie where a certain character has to have an operation performed on her body - and it involves slicing directly through the skin and muscle-tissue of her Abdomen. After the procedure, she's simply "stitched together" by metal clips in like 3 seconds - and with a bit of local anesthetic, she continues to move and jump about with some moaning. Ehm, you CAN'T have any kind of normal movement with your muscle tissue completely severed - and there was absolutely no healing involved. Just one of a series of ridiculous events. The plot is entirely juvenile and cliché stuff with "profound" questions like who created us. For some reason, the beings who created us also want to kill us - and it seems to involve incredibly elaborate genetic engineering that also happened to kill most of our creators in their remote "lab facility". They're CLEARLY much more powerful than we are - and they could just bomb the hell out of us, or do it in a thousand simpler ways. But no, they seem to want to utilise excessively elaborate and dangerous genetic modification or infestation - that they can't handle at all. At least, that's what I got out of it. They also like to record recent events with some kind of holographic recorder device that is unable to render clear images, only some cool ghostly images that I bet Scott loved to play with. But they're quite polite in how they let you play recordings of their security procedure - so you can easily access their systems with zero effort. Characters are completely void of personality and growth. They're REALLY REALLY stupid - and they like to freak out for no apparent reason, and they like to stay calm and playful when there IS a reason - like when encountering an alien species for the first time in history. Among these people with zero personality - we have some willing to gleefully commit suicide by ramming an alien ship, because they like their captain, and they're required to do so because he "can't fly worth a damn" - despite him being the primary pilot hired by a billionaire to do nothing but fly the ship. Then we have a religious scientist who concludes that she's found our creators, based on: "It's what I choose to believe". Then we have people who decide to open the door to their ship with no thought process, despite having just faced complete chaos by extremely hostile alien forces - because one of their crew mates seems to be lying in front of the door. This while other crew mates have just been taken over by some kind of alien infestation. Then we have the very same religious scientist look at an alien "head" they brought back - and she notices some "strange growth" on said head. She then spends 2 seconds thinking and concludes that this is obviously some kind of "foreign cell stuff" (impressive deduction, I must say) - and she decides (for kicks) to stimulate the cells with some kind of energy - just to see what happens. No research - no caution - no nothing. Then we have the boyfriend of said religious scientist who decides that the air in a completely alien environment is breathable because his device tells him it is - and he immediately removes his helmet. A classic Hollywood scientist moment. This movie is FULL of this kind of utterly implausible behavior and random decisions. It has a couple of "for effect" gore scenes - but Scott manages to include ZERO tension along with them. As a result, they're mildly disgusting - but they have no lasting effect whatsoever. The "aliens" that are a part of this movie all look like plastic - because of overly smooth and pale skin. They look like Lovecraft creatures without a much-needed paint-job. Inexplicably, the "alien eggs" are now urns with something completely different from a face-hugger inside them. They're full of some kind of genetic modification "goo" technology. We have Guy Pearce doing a pretty weak "powermonger" performance in pretty bad old-guy make up. We have a horribly predictable twist involving Guy Pearce and a certain other cast member. Totally wasted and pointless twist, to make it worse. We have an android, well-acted by Fassbender, who seems to be completely random in his decisions and motivations. I simply didn't get what he was about or why he did what he did. It made no sense in any context - not to me anyway. The music was overwrought and didn't fit with the mood of the film, and it seemed like one theme being repeated endlessly. A surprise, given Scott's usual flair for good music. I think Lindelof is a complete and total hack - who only got the job because he was the "yes-man" who could match Scott's ego. This is pretty obvious in interviews - where Lindelof always manages to publicly kiss Scott's behind. It`s not mine revew. This is what i think but with better words. It`s from imdb. This man nailed it.