Lost in Space

Hello I have never done anything like this before and so please forgive me if I have made any mistakes and I make any posting errors, but some 24 hours after seeing Prometheus I need to get a few things off my chest. Firstly, let me also lay my cards on the table. I have adored Sci-Fi since I was a small child. The genre has so much to offer and there is so little of it in the mainstream that when any film gets to the big screen I am infinitely forgiving and I turn a blind eye to almost every fault because I am just so pleased it got there. In particular two of my most favourite films ever are “Alien” and “Blade Runner”. I love these films, I left the cinema after seeing these films first time around in a state of wonderment – still moved, still transported to a different time & place, still contentedly speculating... When I discovered Ridley Scott was making a prequel to Alien I was over the moon, I couldn't wait to see the film. Another opportunity to be drawn into a whole new world. I watched all the trailers, careful to avoid the spoilers and anything that would taint my experience. And, to head off those who are not prepared to countenance free speech and who think we must all blindly accept without question, I answer as follows: 1. Yes I assure you I was completely open-minded, I wanted to love this film 2. Yes I still welcome all sci-fi with open loving arms – I always want to believe 3. Yes I understood completely – absolutely no Aliens and no chest bursters 4. Yes it might not give me the answers to Alien – same universe – different storyline – no worries – all good so far... So I saw Prometheus last night and what did I think as I left the cinema? Well I wondered if we'd get home before it rained. What a poor ending for such high hopes. So here are my TYPE 1 issues, I am not even going to get into the storyline itself. TECHNOLOGY - The technology on the Prometheus is more advanced than on Nostromo. I have tried to square this in a number of ways for example that this is Weyland's trillion dollar ship as opposed to some cheap-skate deep space freight carrier but sorry the disparity is just too obvious and I simply cannot forgive the complete lack of an attempt to try to follow some sort of technology timeline. Bless them even the Star Trek series “Enterprise” tried to retro-fit against the earlier series. This was just shoddy and smacks of hubris – “hey we got access to some really neat CGI and we are going to use all of it”. Also, this is bugging me, the surgical bed in Vickers “lifeboat” quarters was calibrated for a man. Fair enough probably for Mr Weyland himself, but Vickers is one strong lady and I get the feeling she wouldn't have mourned too long if dearest Dad dropped off his perch, so I have to ask the following: “I have a top of the range surgical bed in an alcove in my quarters which is only calibrated for a man. Do I: a. accept that because it is only for my Daddy? or, b. recalibrate it to treat me whilst Pa is asleep just in case I might need it? c. recalibrate it to treat males & females because we are a mixed crew and there isn't that many of us and we might need every hand to get away from here alive?” THE CREW 1. Choosing the crew – deep, deep sigh. So Weyland are sending a trillion dollar spaceship into space with a crew of just 17. So how much did we spend on our crew recruitment? With a crew of only 17 wouldn't a key competence perhaps be “Ability to work together”? I reckon if science folk knew you were sending a fab spacecraft (and it was a great ship btw) to find our makers, wouldn't sh*t hot scientists be throwing themselves at the expedition? They wouldn't be in it for the money and would gladly take a “bullet” for the cause. They'd probably donate a kidney up front just to get on the team. They would not turn round and head for the nearest exit when it got a bit sweaty – we were after all visiting a planet in another galaxy, not Disney. So given Weyland could probably handpick almost anyone on the entire planet how come we got some serious misfits who cannot work together, follow orders or cover each others' back amongst our key team members? Strike One on the choice of crew. 2. Crew Training – shakes head. So Weyland spend a trillion dollars on a spaceship (which was awesome btw) but didn't even get their handpicked crew together before blast off for some basic introductions and perhaps a few team building events – maybe with a few psych-docs in attendance to check on the group dynamics and to satisfy themselves that these guys got on together and wouldn't do anything silly? Maybe some basic off-world, explorer or quarantine training might also have been helpful – just throwing that one in to be constructive really? Strike two on the preparedness of the crew. 3. Subject Matter Experts amongst the crew – oh where to begin – So Weyland spend a trillion dollars on a ship (which fully met my expectations btw) and crew it with incompetent individuals who do the most stupidest things. For example: 1. get close to an alien life-form cos it looks sweet (in my sci-fi experience that approach nearly always leads to a whole world of pain – I wouldn't do that in my safe back garden in England let alone on some strange planet which took me two years to get to from Earth) 2. get lost despite the fact that it was my probes that mapped the place 3. notice some dodgy worm in my eye and not tell anyone, and 4. just open the ship's bay doors when a missing crew member suddenly turns up even though two of the crew have recently died in horrible unexplained circumstances indicating some sort of xeno-contamination and/or ET attack. This list could go on but life is short, as indeed somewhat mercifully, was the life of this moronic crew. Strike three on the competence of the crew. And because I did not care for this crew I did not care how they died or whether they survived, whereas I still remember how every member of the crew of the Nostromo perished and rather hoped the murderous Roy might just get away with a few more years of life. So that's just technology and crew so far, and I can't bear to get into the debates on the mythology, gene timeline, alien family tree, symbolism in the alien installation, motives of the Engineer, where and how LV 233 and LV 426 fit together etc etc and as to all the alien lifeforms well “Men In Black's” aliens are infinitely better and scarier and they were played for laughs. I know that the Prometheus Thought Police will pounce on this and tear it to shreds because we've all just got to like this exceptional film and there can be no dissension. But I must speak out, it is a very pretty film, beautiful in fact – visually it is pretty much flawless and I think the actors did a good job with what they had, but I do not hold Prometheus in the same high regard as “Alien” & “Blade Runner”. It felt like an opportunity wasted.