*SPOILER & Breakdown* Really bad movie

Wow this movie was bad. I watched this movie last night with 5 of my friends, I think I can't be a mainstream film watcher cause movies just don't do it for me anymore. You see this movie left me with more questions than answers. I'm going to breakdown the movie here so if you don't want to read any of it, you better leave now. Lets start off with the beginning shall we? The opening scene with the guy killing himself, its an interesting scene, well constructed but lacks any meaning. There is no information about why he is doing it or what he hopes to achieve. Without more information, instead of being given information, we have to decide for ourselves what is really going on here. I don't really have a problem with that if you are given enough information to at least have a general sense of what it is that they are doing. The problem is that there is no information given, just a guy that could be having anything being done. I've heard theories of ritualistic sacrifice that went wrong or right depending on the view point to seeding a planet with life. Truth be told, we don't even know what that is, in the end of the entire scene all we see is some DNA in the water that seems to be survive. However, if all that was meant to happen, why was the DNA being destroyed so utterly and completely by the thing he drank? Would you seed life on a planet by trying to destroy the very thing your trying to do? Seems totally and utterly illogical to me. I mean even if you intended to die in the process of giving life to a planet, wouldn't you do it in such a way that you don't destroy the very DNA your trying to spread? Not to mention, he uses something that looks very much like the stuff that was oozing from the containers found later in the movie. So why was he using that? Also the alien ship in the background looks nothing like the alien ships used by the engineers throughout the rest of the movie. Does this mean that its just another model or perhaps another alien race? Is this some kind of shout out saying that the Engineers were defeated and this was a ritualistic way of ending his life like samurai used to do. I mean for all we know he was drinking their version of coffee and was about to go for a morning swim when he got poisoned, there just isn't enough information to make a proper logical deduction about the scene. Really, this calls out for explanation or the scene has little to no meaning in it. If it was left out of the movie entirely, I don't think anybody would have missed it. It doesn't contribute anything at all in the end except confusion. Well, lets fast forward a little bit then shall we, to lets say the ship. You have the robot walking around looking at peoples dreams while they are in their tubes, that is fine and all, I don't see people staying awake for 2 years like that so it makes sense. Then he walks around watching movies and playing basketball. I admit it gives him a very human appearance but to what end? Throughout the entire movie this robot seems to be a enigma. Does he have feelings or just a rudimentary understanding of human interaction? 1 line from Weyland himself could have ended this puzzle but instead they leave it once again up to us to puzzle it out. His actions and his words just seem to be very very odd. I would consider him a great deal like the android from Alien 1. Totally and utterly devoid of emotion and empathy with a job to do and to hell with everything else. However he seems to be sentient so perhaps just a psychopath? That is just what you get when you create something without a soul? Is that some underlying theme? Regardless, I'm just going to ignore him for the rest of the movie, he seems to be like superman, knows everything and does everything and everybody trusts him entirely. I guess Asimov's 3 rules of robots were never applied to him, or any other robot in this universe and nobody has any problem with that. Well, lets continue to say he is emulating humans quiet nicely, which means he is self aware, sentient and considering he has reactions to things around him, either pretending to have emotions or actually having emotions. He has just some insanely crazy lines in the movie. "Don't we all wish our parents were dead" is a good example of that. If somebody said that to you, wouldn't you get a bit worried. Especially if its a robot that may well consider humanity its parent and you have a crew of 17 that you have to rely on. Its just freakish that nobody seems to care. Well, now that we are done with the robot, lets continue on with lets say the rest of the crew shall we. Amazing spoiler here, Weyland is on that ship. His Daughter is on that ship, the robot, David which he considers his son is on that ship. That has to be the three most powerful people in the Weyland company on 1 ship that cost as they put it Trillions of Dollars in to making, so why don't we just get some randomly picked misfits together for the rest of the crew. I can understand the 2 scientists that were brought along as true believers, that is fine and all. Then a biologist who is a blank slate really, no real connection or anything to anybody but I'll get back to him later on when I dismember that tunnel scene preceding his death. The geologist, well, lets link him with Mr. Biologist cause face it, their only real interactions were with each other and they were so totally pointless that its unbelievable. Then we have a hand full of doctors for Weyland and a rather 2 dimensional Daughter of Weyland on the ship. The cabin crew were just strange and well, why wouldn't they be, its like they took the worst possible crew to go on an expedition like this. We all know that Weyland is a total moron but then again, I've got an entire section on him coming as well. Well, needless to say, I'll just end this crew analysis with this - Why would you spend Trillions of dollars, a vast fortune on all of this and then crew it by misfits? Easy, you wouldn't but it makes for some interesting television of done right. . .it wasn't done right. Lets continue on, its Christmas, hooray, lets go out with just a few hours of sunlight and a massive storm that a science vessel has no way of seeing until its only minutes away. . .interesting that they are even calling them scientists. I can understand some zealotry but when you land on a dead world after coming through a very interesting descent, what you want to do is rush out as soon as you land to enter some rocks. Its interesting how they explore those rocks, I'm sure glad that they didn't have more than 4 of those things to go explore with, I mean you might expect them to deploy a few from the main ship to analyse the ground area around them, search for nearby areas worth exploring or perhaps deploy them from space to I don't know, look for tell-tale signs of life down there. Nope, lets just fly down and just use the good old fashioned fly around till we see something we like, I'm glad that they found it so fast, I mean wouldn't the movie have been boring if they had spend 3 weeks flying around looking around for mounds to be piled in rows, cause we all know that can't be natural. Regardless, it would have just been strange if they had dropped something down and scanned the entire planet like that because then you would expect all survey vessels to do the same in the future in which case Aliens 1 might be explained away cause they are a freight hauler but Aliens 2 would be rather strange. So lets just pretend I'm the only one that is smart enough to see that the application of technology seems to be well. . .rather stupid here. Anyways, lets continue on cause there is so much to say and I bet by now nobody is reading this anymore. Congratulations to those of you that still are managing to keep going at this point since I'm still only just starting. Back to the point of this paragraph is really this - Are they charging out and doing stuff that no scientist would do and are they misusing technology they took along with them, why yes, yes they are. Why are they doing that? My guess is because they have a crew of misfits that shouldn't be there. Fast forwarding again, they travel out with their lovely vehicles, very nice all terrain vehicles at that, as long as everything is flat, not rocky and you know, built like a highway. I mean its obvious that those are the conditions they were expecting to find. Lets forget about that for now - like we may all wish to forget about this movie later. Off they travel to the first mound, instantly find an entrance that thankfully David can read, decipher and open within moments. We all know that if your in a scientific research center or military base or whatever it is since it wasn't actually explained in the movie, you wouldn't expect any safety issues. I mean they are only handling the most dangerous things that may come to mind in this universe, why wouldn't you at least put a padlock on the door. Nope, just a standard opening of everything. Well, they enter and why not have air here, I mean we all hate those big bulky things they are wearing to keep the atmosphere out. So lets take them off cause we all know, unknown atmospheres are harmless. I mean its not like scientists would have any idea about diseases from one place having incredibly harmful effects on others. I mean when the Spanish traveled to South America they found out that the diseases they were immune to were harmless to all those millions and millions of people they wiped out there by you know, sneezing on them. So that goes to show, another scientific mundane useless thing done, you would expect with only 17 people that you wouldn't want half your crew down with the alien version of the plague on day 1. Regardless, a bit later David spots a computer console up on a wall and guess what, he manages to climb up some rocks on a wall that doesn't appear to have had a cave in, meaning it was built that way. . .strange. . .to activate something on the wall to show a holographic representation of people running scared somewhere. Now call me crazy but other than looking interesting and cool, what kind of thing is that good for? I am hard pressed to think of any good reason that it was there, easily accessible and how it all fits together. They follow it to find a dead Engineer and then the Geologist and Biologist freak out and leave. . .cause we all know a biologists dream wouldn't have anything to do with finding an alien life form that he could analyse or whatever. I mean its very interesting to find a person so scared of a dead alien who then runs off with a geologist and gets lost. . .I mean wow. Anyways, here it breaks off in to 2 parts of stupidity. Firstly that the geologist and biologist get lost when you can easily see where they are from the ship and you can tell that they basically went down 1 tunnel, so your talking about them getting lost between going right or left. Regardless about them, I'll get back to them again in a minute, lets continue on the lines of utter stupidity, David manages to open the door and what do we have there, a head that has no meaning, I didn't even see the arms cradling the room. Its a storage room, where did the 2 Engineers that made it in there run off to? Why did they run off in to there? What were they running from? What was so scary that they were willing to decapitate one of their friends to close the door? If they were running away from something that had them that scared, why wasn't it captured on the holographic projections? Assuming they survived (since their bodies were not inside) why didn't they clean up the mess? Never explained, I guess since they are in the room now, no further explanation is required. These vats then all over the ground begin to ooze after the humans enter, seems a great deal like the Face-Hugger eggs to me in a 'prehistoric form'. Rather cut and dry but it doesn't seem to alarm anybody that there are vats spewing out organic material all around them that seems to have been activated by their arrival. No cause for alarm I guess, it could be their version of mustard gas or its an alien Christmas celebration that just happen to be starting at the same time. . .you know if they believed in that. No cause for alarm there. Then at the back of the room we had something else, a rather interesting piece of architecture - an alien design in to a wall. Really? It looks exactly like an alien really, the design doesn't seem to have much detail so it leaves a great deal to the imagination but its easy to spot the tell tale features of an alien. Then the mural, I honestly didn't really get a good view of it at all. There were 6 of us, nobody say the hands or got any idea what the mural was about, let alone that it seems rather out of place doesn't it. Everything is barren rock, some of it carved and otherwise incredibly materialistic, yet we have murals in a storage room. . .Look a storm is coming, I'm glad this trillion dollar spaceship can detect a storm coming and give people a 15minute time frame to escape. . . Well, as I said, that was a 2 part stupidity, so after the escape, I won't even go in to the 'event scene' there, I don't feel I really have to, obviously something to make the masses get worked up about something, I mean so far nothing other than stupidity has happened, none of the characters are more than 1 dimensional cutouts except the main cast which are of course, 2 dimensional - they have managed to prove themselves both stupid and extremely dedicated, mainly dedicated to their stupidity over anything else, but still, its something more than the rest of them. Well, back to the Biologist who turned his back on what was most likely going to be his crowning achievement on his life's work because door scary and of course the Geologist who really I don't even know why they took him. . .I mean he is a Geologist, what did they hope to use him for? This rock appears very old, I'm glad that we took him. The entire reason they took him was to release those things that flew around that they only use in the caves to repeat myself from earlier. Glad they couldn't train a monkey to do that, the monkey might have been more useful to an expedition like this. . .Sigh. . . Anyways, they get lost, they get told that there is a life form reading while they are standing around a bunch of dead Engineer bodies that guess what, Mr. Biologist isn't willing to even really look at. There are some obvious trauma's that are about the size of guess what, that thing they come across later on. . .now tell me, 2 people scared of a door wouldn't make a connection like that? Worm with the same size as the hole in all these dead creatures. . .must be harmless, a door scared us before, lets play with these things, if anything its moving around and everything like a cobra, we all know they aren't dangerous. . .Well, not to spoil a good death scene, I might as well continue cause it wasn't good, totally and utterly retarded. Fast forward a bit further, nobody notices David stealing a vat, well, I would guess that isn't really a shock, David seems to be running up ahead, looking at things, clicking stuff, doing whatever he wants all the time and usually only after he has done it, something happens that brings it back to David, you might think people that are scared might pay a closer eye on somebody doing things that keeps freaking them out. Guess not. Anyway, now we are back on the ship, David spikes lead scientists drink who seems incredibly drunk, never really explained why he is so depressed, ooh, he didn't find the aliens alive, guess that the most monumental discovery in your life on a small remote part of a planet must mean that they have gone extinct, what can I say, its dedication to stupidity, its what his character is made of. Then of course the entire bridge is empty when the people are having their close encounter with an alien life form, cause with 17 people on the ship, nobody would be awake when your on an alien planet in case something happened. Especially considering you have 3 bridge crew that seem to only have to stay on the ship. . .Lets avoid that shall we. Lets also avoid the fact that the ship is a scientific ship that apparently doesn't hold logs of things like when a team member contacts in. I mean its not something you would want to keep records of. Regardless. That I think was about the point were my stupidity tank hit its full capacity. Its an amazing thing to suddenly realize that the movie is so bad you should stop trying to think of it in any other tone other than a cartoon from the 70s. Well, lets just hit some of the big bases still since I'm tired of writing this and face it, I doubt anybody is going to read all of this. Lets see, they go back for their dead crew, and guess what, they come back with only 1, guess the other one wasn't worth caring about till he shows up at the ships doorstep with hulk smash powers. Not to mention a giant metal truck, gasoline, guns, everything on him, he still survives ages, I mean since gravity is the same on this planet as Earth (as seen by how people move around), I don't care how much alien tissue you have flip-flopping through your system, you drive over him with a giant vehicle, shoot his brains out, torch him, any of them will get a kill. Then again, we got the scene with the scientist dedicated to stupidity sacrificing himself, how noble of him. Why are there medical bays if you have no intention of using them? Why in a space craft where most medical emergencies most likely will involve something happening outside are there no direct entrances to medical facilities from outside? Lets see, David finds a live Engineer. Good for him. Wakes him up, I'm glad that Weyland wants to live forever. I mean he really wants it so he comes unarmed, unprepared to defend himself against a possibly hostile alien, totally no precautions taken and wakes him up and asks for immortality. Don't worry though, no explanation given why the alien decided to go crazy and kill everybody. Why did the Engineers want to wipe out all life on Earth? Seems like a great deal of trouble to wipe out all life on Earth by releasing a new life form that is capable of wiping Engineers out in the process. I mean wouldn't you create something that would be obedient? Ooh it got away from them, that will be the main argument about why it went the way it went. Well, I guess a species as materialistic wouldn't believe in safeguards. Also why would Weyland believe they could give him immortality. Wouldn't his hopes for that be dashed the moment he heard they used sleeper chambers themselves. They know how to make things immortal cause they put themselves to bed on long trips cause they don't want to age either, must mean they just don't do it to themselves for some reason. Then the entire thing where the medical chamber was only meant for a male, why would you seriously seriously remove the medical information for a woman? Who owns it. . .the Daughter of Weyland. . .WHY WOULD SHE HAVE IT!!!! The girl breaks out of the medical bay with alien baby. . .glad nobody decided to find out where she removed alien baby, since there is only 1 place on the ship to do it other than the room she was in. Nobody went to clean it up, an alien baby which turned in to huge octopus creature. STRANGE. Guess that must be why face huggers die right after they finish laying an egg or why they only come out of those eggs themselves right before doing it, cause otherwise they would somehow pull nutrition straight from a cosmic black hole that exists inside their tummies to grow to massive proportions and become what you say in that medical bay. Also why did they have him in that chair, look exactly picture perfect Alien 1 finding the ship scene and then have him leave the chair. I hate to think that they are planning a sequel. All I can say about this movie is that it must score a 1 or a 2 on a scale of 100. If it were any worse, it would be rated on a turkey scale, not a real scale. I rate my movies on a scale based on characters, character development, story lines, story line development and consistency. Now I read somewhere that this movie was a prequel to the Aliens saga. If they had left out the Alien architecture on the wall in the room with the head, removed the alien birth at the end of the movie and the ships being identical to that found in Alien 1 and 2, you would be able to make some interesting connections but it wouldn't be considered anything related. My recommendation in the end is, if you have half a brain or you analyse your movies while watching them or care much for things like acting, characters being more than 1dimensional and a story line that is horrible and instead you can still be taken aback by pretty lights, good graphics and are willing to forgive/forget the rest, go for it. This movie really lacked plot, characters, story line and above all else, the one thing that should never be left out in a prequel, dedication to the original story line. It is a very hard thing to do, to end a movie at the same point another movie can begin from when that other movie has already been out for what? 33years? It really is tough. The bar is set so high that Olympic athletes could pole vault under it on the moon. Yet I'm glad to see that there are people out there still that can manage to limbo under it better than even the world record holders. They really attempted to dig a tunnel underneath the platform instead of go for gold. I guess an dishonorable mention in the toe tags of a franchise is better than nothing for them.